The girls suffering inside us

The Internal Family Systems therapy model tells us about the Parts of the mind and the Self, a center of qualities inherent to all human beings to which I dedicated this blog entry: http://www.patriciadelafuente.net/blog/el-self

The Parties are divided into Exiled and Protector parties..

Today I want to tell you something more about what we call Exiled parts in IFS.

Exiled parts are vulnerable parts of ourselves that are excluded from our mental system.. We call them exiles because our minds push them away so we can move on with our lives..

But the reality is that this is not completely achieved., we can't make them disappear, In fact we can notice how these exiled parts are constantly managing to make someone hear their stories.

They carry within them stories of moments where they were harmed., emotions, sensations, beliefs, images, impulses and more elements that have been removed from consciousness. That is to say, that although they are not many times on a conscious level, They continue to influence our decisions and the way we relate to our environment and ourselves..

These parts, as well as the protective parts, we can notice them when they are expressed, in a specific area of ​​our body, as unpleasant sensations such as tension in the back, distress, feeling of emptiness in the stomach…, We can experience them in the form of thoughts or we can hear what they tell us in our mind..

They also often become very extreme in an effort to be cared for and share their story..

They carry within themselves or on top of them the Burdens that were “injected” from outside during critical incidents, painful, overwhelming… “The Burdens They Carry” they come from the fact of having been wounded.

For example, an exiled part can carry with it the Burden of feeling invisible to others, Maybe she acquired that belief about herself at some point in your childhood., perhaps when your little brother was born and your parents stopped being present for you in the way you needed them to be and it may also have been reinforced through various subsequent experiences in your group of friends., at school or in your adult life…

Exiled parts manifest as rage, sadness, soledad, fear of abandonment, feelings of chronic rejection, negative beliefs/feelings about ourselves and the world around us.

All of this is accompanied by a need for redemption or the need to put an end to something that causes pain., hardship or other adversity.

The purpose of therapy is to reach those parts and help them free themselves from those burdens., thus returning them to their natural state.

Making those wounded parts that live within us be just as they would have been if they had not experienced those circumstances that damaged them..

For that we will listen to their stories from our Self., We will become compassionate witnesses to their suffering and offer them our presence in the way they would have needed..

To finally rescue them from the past and bring them to the present.

And give them the opportunity to let go of their burdens and to integrate in return what they want for themselves..

Thus giving them back their spontaneity, happiness, genuine enthusiasm and confidence.