Peace begins at home

Babies are born every day, new human beings arriving on this planet of ours. Small, helpless humans, full of needs waiting to be filled by others who are already here.

These beings are born with their genetic load, with their epigenetic information and with all the necessary resources to learn from their environment what will be the best possible survival strategy for them.

That's how it is, We are born with a brain that prioritizes survival. This means that our brain has a Velcro for adverse circumstances., Those will leave much more of a mark than the things that happen in our favor..

Our brain meticulously records all the events that it considers a danger to our continuity on this planet..

This learning begins inside the womb, We already know that babies are capable of changing their physiology according to the nutrients the mother has access to.. In this way he will prepare his body for what he considers the circumstances that he will encounter outside his mother's body..

And where does a new human being learn to relate to others?? Well it's easy to answer, the first social group, The first testing ground that will teach you what behavior between people is like is your family..

The first learning will be obtained from your main caregiver. Almost always, his mother. How to respond to their demands, to your basic needs will mark your first contact with the reality that you have had to live. Your mother may be a woman eager to offer affection., capable of offering itself what is necessary so as not to have any gaps to fill through it. She may be a mother supported by her environment, full, fully and with all the support to be able to carry out the difficult task of putting aside for a time so many things that she had built for herself to give herself like she has never experienced..

Or maybe he has a normal mom, with deficiencies, with his own backpack of feelings from the past, with so many difficulties to look at herself and give herself what she needs as the culture in which she was born has allowed her to build herself.

And there he will experience the first war. The war of your needs or mine. You will learn that conditions are not the same on both sides and you will learn which weapons are valuable and which are not..

And will record it in your memory; Someday I will be the one on the winning side..

The circle widens, more people enter the family. Now the needs are no longer just nutritional, now they are also social. And then you will learn that once again the war of needs is present and that fear, the threats, Screams and the occasional blow are very effective tools to win these wars..

You will also learn other types of humiliation. The silence that ignores him, since it is considered “a whim”, the denial of your suffering as something insignificant or inadequate.

You will learn a lot and very quickly to think that the needs of others do not deserve to be heard when mine are at stake.. What, although socially very few publicly defend this type of treatment, and among adults, their parents smile and be very respectful, as far as they are concerned, your children, and inside the house, the rules will be different. And shouting will be allowed, insults and contempt that will never be allowed, For example, with his co-workers.

That will confuse you a little, because if they hit or yell at other children they will be punished for it, very possibly with the same shouts and pulls that they are told they do not have to give.

It will take a while to understand that everything is part of a thick smoke screen in which things seem one thing and are another.. Where to put the fan and begin to clarify this whole issue of violence sometimes brings even more suffering since seeing it hurts, above all see yourself inside, hurts. And the temptation to keep things as they are, because it becomes almost balsamic.

So socialized, devoid of an external perspective that has made it easier for him to understand the mechanisms of his own emotions, much less the emotions of others., will go out into the adult world, and what a disappointment! All those rules named, that he has firmly continued to maintain the affection of his people because he goes and it turns out that they are useless.

So, like another link in the same chain, will repeat one by one the wars of hidden needs. And you can say that he deserves what they have done to him, who has earned it, because he will have already forgotten that that was once him.